Many people in the Jewish community believe that the reason why people are currently single or divorced and alone and staying in this state for many years is
- Because hashem hasn't yet decided it's the time
- Because they haven't made enough effort
- They have made enough effort but there isn't anyone out there for them
They are joining more and more dating sites, endlessly searching for a partner. This can cause people to feel like there is no hope to find a mate.
I would like to share my recent findings that these reasons are not true.
Why is Hashem not to blame
The first reason (Blaming Hashem) is nullified by the Rambam's opinion that Hashem doesn't decide when you get married, only, to who you will get married. The Rambam expounds saying that since getting married is a Mitzvah, to say that Hashem decides when you will do a Mitzvah would be to say that God doesn't allow you to have the ability to perform a mitzvah and that you wont be liable for punishment if you end up not getting married. In fact, to say this is absurd and not consistent with the beleif in free will.
Then why am I still alone?
What if I suggested to you that searching for a potential mate wasn't the actual way to find a mate?
What if... in order to get married, it took changing your perspective on finding a mate....
Could it be that in order to find a good partner for life all you need to do is change something within yourself which will automatically and magnetically create opportunities for you to become a marriage partner
Let me explain this with a parable:
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